IamKrAzE.com | Paul Cooper

I love myspace, for social communication, but sometimes you just want to catch the person your talking to on fire and push them in-front of a bus all in one single motion.

I now present you with, 10 things I hate about myspace users.

• The whore train.

Though I haven’t seen this one in awhile, we all know what I’m talking about. That person who puts a blog out their telling you to add her cool kick ass friend because you should. No other reasons at all.

Now what do I hate most about this? Well lets see I dont know that person, and why on earth cant they add me if they are so fucking interested? Oh they aren’t are they. Once I add the piece they will never talk to you. Instead they will post bulletins constantly reminding you to add other peoples friends, or how some kid got their order wrong at the local McFattyFatFats.

• The pimp my myspace attitude.

Besides from being completely useless, these little bonuses we get allow our web browsers to go to a crawl, especially if your viewer is on a laptop with low amounts of ram. I hope it looks cool though.

• The too lazy to re-size their pictures asshole. Enough said here.

 Come on, your high resolution image doesn’t fit on my screen, and I have DUAL SCREENS both at high resolutions. Your page is the equivalent of 3 wide-screen monitors. I really don’t think you are that stupid that you cant open your photo in paint and edit resize it. Hell windows has a nice feature called batch image re-sizer. Its a power tool, look it up.

• The multiple music player

 Uhm… is your family too poor to afford speakers  or did you think it would be cool to mix the two songs live on your webpage? You have a song loaded in the default myspace player (horrible idea myspace) and you decided to add another one from a pimpmyspace website? And to top it off they are both playing at the exact same time. I am listening to my own music thank you. If you have music on your page (we all do) then I would reccomend you add the music player to the top fold of your site so others can stop it as soon as your page loads.

• Are you color blind?

Yes, its a brilliant idea to have a neon orange background with bright yellow text. I don’t need my retina’s anyway. Come on look up color wheel in google image search. The colors on opposite sides of the wheel are the colors you should use.

• Random background that is repeated

Wow this ones hilarious. If I have to highlight your text to read it, because some of the background is black and so is your text I deserve to stab you in the throat with a blunt object. I know you cant see it, so what made you think it was a good idea?

• Private Profiles

I know you dont want e-perverts to stalk your webpage, but its a social website for Christ’s sake. If you dont want that type of people, then dont put your personal information on a website. If that’s too hard for you, dont register. The whole point of a social network, is to expand your social networks. Not to talk to your friends from school about that oh so hawt kid sitting next to you. Fuck off.

• Status updates

Thank god the classic view doesnt have status updates. I could give a flying shit that you feel curious that day, or adventurous. Is their really any positive social reason to care about someones feelings at that very important? If your sad, go slit your wrists and blog about your keyboard not working from an obscene amount of blood.

• Reading a message and not replying

I know you read it, and it had a question in it. That means I expect an answer. The fact you havent answered tells me you don’t care, and I delete you. Its not like im going to miss you.

• You

I bet you have done at least one of these things. Hell, I am even at blame for putting music on my myspace. If you are one of the few who have managed not to do this, and you feel you would like to add me to your social network, please feel free to send me a message at: http://www.myspace.com/allthegoodnamesareused

 If you just send me a invite to be your friend with no message expect not to have an additional friend.

Many of us who still prefere myspace social networking over facebook for customization reasons may find this valuable.

 In order to remove almost all bots from ever talking to you all you have to do is visit a simple area in your account settings.

 If you migrate over to the Account Settings button at the top left of the page and click the spam section, you will find all sorts of ways to keep bots away from you.

Some of the best settings include:

• Require CAPTCHA [?] for non-friends to send me messages
• Require CAPTCHA [?] for friend requests

These two options alone will stop bots for the most part from Sending you messages and being added. This should in no way change anything for your current friends either! Hope it helps!